About the Author

At 16, I worked in a flower shop on Skid Row.
At 17, I lived as a tailor in the small town of Anatevka.
At 18, I squired a mad knight on his Impossible Quest.

I have swung from the highest treetops in India.
I have played piano in the courts of kings all over Europe.
I have been a writer, a doctor, a judge, a governor, a priest, a native, a settler, a crow, a cow, a tree, a prostitute, an orphan, a son, a father.

I have danced on the sands of Egypt,
usurped a king in the hills of Scotland,
waltzed under the lights of New York,
and owned a nightclub on the streets of San Francisco.

I have gotten lost in the forests of Athens,
spent nights in the Hotels of Paris,
sold tobacco in the capital of Szechwan,
and I have slain a Dragon under the Lonely Mountain.

Writer / Actor / Comedian

Libturd / Snowflake / Cuck / Whatever New Derogatory Name the Right's Come Up for Me This Week

Optimist / Romantic

Sarcastic, Hyperbolic, Immutable, Inimitable, Undeniable