Tuesday, October 16, 2012

What's the point of having a bucket list if it's not hilarious?

Most of the entries on my Bucket List sound like premises to a sitcom bit:
  • Pretend to be a conductor of an orchestra for at least one movement.
    The conductor was not knocked out of my accord.
    It should be the first or third movement of a symphony.

  • Rip up a test in front of a professor's face, saying, "Here's what I think of your grades!"
    Optional: Professor says, "No one's ever stood up to me before. You pass!" Slow clap from the students as I leave.

  • Wake up in a domestic setting and a non-domestic animal walks by me.
  • If it somehow worked out to be a dolphin, that'd be amazingly cool.

  • Be told I'm fired so I can say, "Fire me!? You can't fire me! I QUIT!"

  • Prank call a girl and have it lead to a date.

  • Take in a local sightseeing tour in a country where I don't speak the language and wind up missing my tour bus.

  • Get hit on by a gay guy and call his bluff, find out he was doing it on a dare, and then we are each other's wingmen for the night.

  • At some point, get set up to say, "But if you're out here, then who...uh-oh..."

  • Dress up an animal as a person to get it into some sort of concert where we eventually reunite it with its owner, who is the frontman of the band playing, and we get to go backstage.
  • Spontaneous acapella, harmonized road trip sing-along initially starting from silence.
  • Be mistakenly presumed dead and read my obituary. (And/or attend my own funeral in disguise.)
  • Forced to take care of an unlikely small animal, like a monkey.
  • Drinking contest with my estranged biological father.
  • I wake up and everybody I know is an alternate version of themselves, but appropriately cast into whatever genre we are doing.